Miz Eudora Rumph




Welcome to Smackass Gap, North Carolina!
UPDATED NEWSLETTER August 28th, 2011




Hey there all you dear friends!

I’d intended to be back in touch with you around Memorial Day, but time has gotten away and now it’s closer to Labor Day. The US Mail says they can go through rain, snow, and all them other atrocities the weather throws out at us. That’s real nice, but they don’t have Mabel to contend with. (Nor all this new-fangled technology that don’t juke and jive with the former technology.) Too bad technology can’t juke and jive like I did with that national dance team in Savannah. But I won’t get into that. You’ll have to read it in the new book.

Speakin’ of the new book, When the Saints Go Marchin’ In finally releases next week. I’ll be autographing copies in Toccoa, GA, on Friday, August 19th, when we celebrate “Christmas in August…Smackass Style” at Shirley’s Soul Food from 5:00 – 8:30pm. You’re all invited to come and join in the fun, games and prizes as we help benefit the homeless people fed and housed through the jobs Shirley generates with her soul food restaurant. Friday is seafood night and she even has crab legs. (She’s obviously been fishin’ somewhere besides Lake Chatuge!) Our frivolity there is actually what happens in one of the chapters in the new book, so all present will get a first-hand “hands-on” look at the inside of the book.

For all you who have been asking, the cost of the new book is $17.95 since it includes a 16-page color photo spread. That’s right, all you who went to Savannah with me, you are all now officially a centerfold!

So you have some idea of what the new book is about, Mabel decides she’s takin’ over the music program at First Church, Smackass, and I decide she’s not. Since St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland, I figured he could surely drive Mabel out of Smackass Gap, since she’s the biggest snake we got there. Then I took her to St. Olaf College in Northfield, MN, to see if all those Lutherans couldn’t teach her to sing. From there, you’ll just have to read the rest of it for yourself, but it’s one more good time.

To answer a couple of questions (actually three), I will be going to Savannah again in 2012. We’d planned to go this past year, but life happened and the toll road pre-empted. We are working on the details now and anyone who wishes may join me down there for some good eatin’ and shoppin’. Yes, I am going to Minnesota in the fall, so I’ll get a chance to meet lots of folks up there. And thirdly, where is the next book set? Well, you’ll have to read the final chapter of When the Saints Go Marchin’ In. If you can’t figure it out from that, then you need to stay home and take care of Mabel while I trot off to my next location with all my friends. That trip will be announced hopefully by the fall. But it will encompass many of the adventures that happen in the next book in my series, which has not been titled yet although it is under construction.

To catch you up with the author, I’d told you she would have the pitter-patter of six little feet, all under the age of two, around her house come Halloween. Seems I was wrong. There’s going to be eight little feet by Christmas. Seems that younger son of hers and his sweet little wife are going to present her with a little girl to keep those other three boys in line. I just want to know who’s gonna keep the author in line with all those little pitter-patters. Course, they all are musical and I hear they all have their own pianos, so they could always be “The Fifty Fingers” on stage with her. I think I’ll suggest she give her kids big screen televisions for Christmas so they have something else to do in their spare time. I did suggest that if the baby due at Christmas comes on Christmas Eve, we could have a live nativity in Smackass Gap, but no one seemed to think that was a good idea, especially the expectant mother. Since I’m not sure I can keep up with that many names, I’ve threatened to call them “Thing 1,” “Thing 2,” “Thing 3” and “Thing 4”. It worked for Dr. Seuss!

Her non-fiction, Because He Lives, was named to the UMW Reading List for 2012. Needless to say, she’ll be doing lots of speaking engagements with it over the next five years, but she’s promised to take me along on some of them. And because the toll road that took her house is also making her move all the copies of books she has locally, you can now buy lots of her earlier titles real cheap. That info will be on the website very soon – hopefully within the week. This will not apply to copies in stores or national warehouses, just the ones available locally for personal engagements.

I’d better say good-bye. It takes a lot of work to make Christmas come early, especially in August. And this will happen in several other locations before Christmas. I’m also working on a project for the new little arrivals. It’s called a “Mabel Zapper.” I hope it will be done in time to introduce in my next book. Till the next installment of “Live in Smackass,” live, laugh and love.

And love to you,
Miz Eudora Rumph


















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